Hello my blog fam, today’s post comes courtesy of one of my bffs and frequent commentator Ms. Elle. Please give her a warm welcome and your feedback because you all give some very valuable advice. Who needs a therapist couch when I’ve got you lot?! Elle and I have spoken about her little debacle with the subject of her post and well I give the clown a major side eye! So does Terry, ask somebody! I leave you with Elle…*Waving*
Too many times, we hear that women are too picky when it comes to choosing men. I don’t think wanting someone who compliments me and challenges me makes me picky. Does it?
I met a man at a one day course I recently took. He seemed very nice and intelligent, and at the end of the course, we exchanged numbers. We talked on the phone for over a month, getting to know each other and I thought things were going well. I did mention to my friends, when I first met this man I didn’t feel any attraction, but I was trying not to be picky.
The more he and I spoke, the more I ignored my initial reaction. I tried my best to work past the barriers between us. We are both Black, but I’m of Jamaican parentage, he’s a bit older and African. I decided to try and find common ground. After a month of talking and still nothing in common, still I thought it was me.
A girlfriend of mine and I decided we were going to have a birthday celebration to which I thought this would be a great time for my friends to meet him and tell me if it’s just me…friends never lie…at least not mine.
So the birthday event arrives and my friends were great and were more attentive to him than I was. His behavior on the other hand was another story. The whole evening he was quiet and withdrawn, almost to the point of being moody. I kept asking him what was wrong, it was like pulling teeth. He left the dinner early, but on his way out the door, I finally got an explanation for his behavior. I’ll save you the boring details.
Fast forward to 3 days later…
He calls me and says that I have passed all his assessments, yes assessments and that I am everything he is looking for. Let’s rewind a bit, shall we. 2 weeks into talking to him, he sends a text starting with hello my everything; I seriously jokingly write back you shouldn’t put your everything into one person. Forward a couple more days…
He once again sends a text, this time ending with “love always.” What! I’m sorry, but I have not known you long enough and we don’t know each other well enough for you to be loving me anything, am I wrong? Our conversations were never that deep, I still hardly know him. Back to present day…
That odd text I received talking about me passing his assessments. After I told him it made no sense, he called me and told me that he re-read it and it made perfect sense to him…but no one texts themselves…well I do sometimes, but anyway…he goes on to state that the message was about how he feels for me and he stated it in such a way that I would not get upset, like I did last time he used a certain 4 letter word. I started to feel very anxious, and not in a good way.
Before I drone on any longer, let me just sum it up for you. After much thought, I decided that my initial reaction was correct…always follow your instincts. I only gave you a peek at the condescending way that he spoke; he did it in a manner that you didn’t realize you were being talked down to until you were off the phone…I hate being spoken to like an idiot.
I decided to stop things where they were; just a nice clean break. He tried to tell me that my decision was too swift, my friends will wonder what is wrong with me and a whole heap of what I consider crap. It was like he was trying to scare me into continuing a relationship with him…what’s that about?
I am just glad that I came to my senses when I did and that I learned to follow my instincts because they will never lead me astray…am I wrong?