Heal The World, That You Did

R.I.P. Michael baby!

Words cannot express how deeply saddened I am by the news of his passing!  You’d think I know him by the tremendous hurt I’m feeling inside at this very moment.  Michael provided a lot of music for the soundtrack of my life.  He touched my heart with his ballads, he made me slide across the kitchen floor with brushes in my hand as microphones, the man is/was untouchable.

Black, White, Asian, Hispanic, Native Indians, it doesn’t matter, music brought us all together.  I hope he knew though people had negative things to say, the majority of the world still loved/loves him.  I’ve seen footage of this man touching people  and watched them faint.  That’s a level no one else can EVER reach!

I strongly believe Michael had it in him to make a strong and successful comeback, not many could, but Michael could.  I saw on the news a fan said, he never believed any of the horrible things said about MJ because anyone who was so kind and meek, who reached out to children, had to be close to God.

The only solace I find in this time of great sadness is that cruel words can and will no longer him, he was a human being and the rumors must have cut like a sword.  I said rumors because I believe them to be that.  No amount of money would make a parent forget what he supposedly did.  The fact that these ‘people’ would take the money and go away leads me to the conclusion that it was all bogus.

Heal The World, that you did with your music, humanitarianism, and kindness.  May you find peace in death that you did not get in life.  See you next lifetime, we’ll Rock With You!


Nikks :(

What If…

The road taken!

I would assume at some point or another we all question the decisions we’ve been confronted with, the choices we’ve made, and the outcome of those choices.  I don’t dwell on these things for long, but I’m human and I on rare occasions allow myself to go there.  Where you ask?  To the lonely ‘What If’ corner of my mind.

My mind switches to instant re-play of certain situations in my life and I wonder if I had it to do all over again, would I do it differently?  Should I have?

Should I have walked away sooner?  Should I have given in and done something I didn’t really want to, but do it just the same to hold on?  Should I have given up a little part of me, sacrifice what seemed to be little things to please someone else?  It might’ve seemed like little things then, but in the big picture it’s those little things that make me uniquely me.  If I changed myself a little, would I still be Nikks?

Would the facade fade overtime?  Would I get back to being me and would you hate me for pretending to be someone I clearly wasn’t?  Or would the tables have turned, would I hate you for making me someone I wasn’t?  Would it have been fair to expect me to give up so much of myself, while you continued being you?  What would you have been willing to give up?

Every once in awhile I allow myself to wonder about what life might have been like or if it’s too late to change things.  Life might have been better, then again, it might not.  I know one thing for sure, life could be worst, so we shouldn’t complain.  But that doesn’t really stop us from asking, “What if ________?”

Je ne regrette rien! (I regret nothing!),

Nikks :P

Something You Forgot

I do!  Do you really?

I do! Do you really?

I’m sitting here at the kitchen counter, was about to make some brown sugar oatmeal, find a flight, and check my work e-mail, but being the procrastinator that I am, I checked twitter first.  I came across a blog from CNN called…ugh I forget what it’s called, but it’s about whether or not people deserve to be cheated on!

In my opinion, YES.  Some people deserve to be cheated on!  For example, that bish Kate.  People seem to be very upset with her hubby because he was caught out there.  Hold on one fudging minute!  I don’t watch the show, I’ll tell you why (I know you didn’t ask, but I’m gonna tell you anyway).  I flipped to the channel one day and the five minutes I caught of her snatching his balls off and shoving a hook through them to make earrings was quite enough!  He should’ve been out there a long time ago.

Some people deserved to be cheated on because of other reasons too, not just being a bish!  I know some people who are just plain lazy, scandalous, or not marriage material.  WTF you talking about Nikks?  Um, well….if my man is out working and I’m home not doing sh**, there is no excuse my house should be a mess!  No reason why dinner isn’t cooked or cooking.  No reason the laundry is piled high.  If I don’t feel like cooking, then reservations are set.

I’m obviously not a feminist, I’m not old fashioned either, I’m smart.  I’ve hung out with friends before who had husbands out working hard while they sat lovely at home doing squat!  Husband has to come home and thaw out meat to cook for dinner?  You wonder why they cheat?  If you don’t handle your sh** another woman will.  Sad, but true.

I’m not saying housework isn’t hard or taking care of children isn’t difficult, tiring, and draining.  Trust me, I’ve borrowed people’s kids before and could hardly wake up the next day!  It’s no joke!  HOWEVER, it’s not that difficult, get a routine.  My grandmother and grandfather had 11 children together.  Mama did it all.  Handled the house, cook, clean, wash, iron, comb hair, sew, did farming, all of it, while Papa worked away from home.  He was a good man!  Perfect example of love and devotion to each other till he passed.  Mama did it all solo, no daycare like us spoiled modern women.  As yucky as this is, she still obviously found time for romance, 11 children people!  I’m just sayin’….

This isn’t all about cooking, cleaning, sex, it’s about so much more.  Us women want so much, do we realize that our men need the same things we demand.  Knowing that we love them, we encourage them, we’ve got their backs, we’ve got that shoulder they need, those words they want and NEED to hear.

Some women just never learned by example how to be a good wife and mother.  How to give love to get love.  I’m grateful that I grew up with women around me who were great examples.  I hope I can be half of the woman my own mother is.

Sometimes we need to walk up behind him, wrap our arms around him and hold him.  ***DISCLAIMER: If your man has been incarcerated and doesn’t talk about his time behind bars, you might want to make noise when approaching him from behind.  I’m just saying, one never knows.  I don’t want to be responsible for you getting shanked, because you snuck up on him like BIG MIKE!***

Okay in all seriousness.  Yes, CNN Blogger, yes, some people deserve it!  In cases like Jon & Hate Kate Plus Eight.

We all want the same things at the end of the day; acceptance, love, RESPECT, and appreciation, don’t let it be something you forgot!

Nikkster :P

Music Video: Brokenhearted Girl

Boring Ass Beyonce looks absolutely stunning and gorgeous in this video.  I love when it turns into color and that dress is the business, HOWEVER; damn the bish is boring!  Can she do something with some substance please and thank you?!  Is that too much to ask?  She keeps eye f****** me with this black and white nonsense without a story behind it!  I’m in the wrong line of work, someone show me how to use those high tech video equipment and I’ll change videos for the best!

Bee-rilliant?  I think not!

Nikki Nikks Baybee :P

An Apple A Day

I think it’s safe to surmise that we all have family members we aren’t too fond of.  I might even go as far as to say, some of us have family members that we really hate.  Is it because they are bad people or because they have bad characteristics/attitudes? Maybe we don’t like them because we see a lot of ourselves in them?  A lot of the things about ourselves that we don’t like to admit lies inside us, dormant, waiting to come wiggling out.  Or because they do things we wish we were brave enough to do, publicly?

In this case, I’m talking about the characteristics in our family members that we don’t like because we see a lot of it in us.  Sometimes it’s our mother, father, brother, sister, cousin, aunt, and/or uncle.  Heck even our grandparents, as squishy, cuddly, and lovable as they are, have their share of skeletons, drama, and disgrace lurking in their outdated closets, I’m just saying!

“The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree!

Sometimes it’s a good thing, other times, a bad thing.  One might not notice the similarities between him/herself and family, but those around us do.  Easier to see things, catch things in others that they normally might not see themselves, because well, it’s easier being on the outside looking in.

Nikks :P

Dixie Nikks: Not Ready To Make Nice

I’m not a forgiving person.  No wait, I am capable of forgiving, but I don’t forgive easily.  I’ve forgiven people before for causing me pain and grief, but it doesn’t mean we become pals again.  It simply means we’re able to be civil towards each other and be in the same room without dirty looks, snide remarks, or wanting to whoop somebody’s ass.  Being able to be in the same room as my antagonist is usually the result of an apology or acceptance of wrong doing on his/her part and I’m happy to say I’m able to also accept my wrongs.  I’m not always cast in the role of the hero.

I guess what I fail to understand is how a person who hasn’t been given closure in the form of an apology or justice of some kind, can hang out with the person who took them through hell and back again?!  WTF?! (This what the f*** moment has been brought to you by the letter F!)

I know various women who’ve had the daylights beaten out of them, held at knife point, kicked/punched in the stomach so hard they got the wind knocked out of them, given diseases, cheated on, etc. but still manage to sit in the same car for a long ride with their tormentor.  They eat, they laugh, they tell stories, ignoring the giant elephant asshole in the room!  It’d be a cold day in hell before I forgave any of those things listed.  You can believe I’d call you out on it and choke an apology out of you!

Maybe I should start singing country music, dye my hair blonde, and purchase a guitar, I think I’m a Dixie Chick at heart, for I’m Not Ready To Make Nice no sirree Bob!

Forgive, sounds good

Forget, I’m not sure I could

They say, “Time heals everything.”

But I’m still waiting…..

Nikks :)